I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Candid Conversation.
The Austrian Oak is best known as an Hollywood heavyweight. But, in the midst of his blockbuster fame in the eighties and nineties, he also delivered several critically acclaimed comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35-year mark this holiday season.
The Story and An Iconic Moment
In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger embodies a tough police officer who poses as a kindergarten teacher to track down a criminal. During the story, the investigation plot serves as a simple backdrop for the star to share adorable scenes with children. The most unforgettable involves a student named Joseph, who spontaneously rises and states the stoic star, “Boys have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” The Terminator responds dryly, “Thank you for that information.”
The boy behind the line was played by child star Miko Hughes. His career featured a recurring role on Full House as the bully to the famous sisters and the haunting part of the child who returns in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects listed on his IMDb. Furthermore, he engages with fans at popular culture events. Not long ago recalled his memories from the production after all this time.
Behind the Scenes
Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.
Wow, I don't recall being four. Do you remember anything from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're flashes. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would accompany me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all just have to wait, go into the room, be in there less than five minutes, deliver a quick line they wanted and that was it. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, as soon as I could read, that was the initial content I was reading.
Do you have any recollection of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?
He was very kind. He was enjoyable. He was nice, which arguably makes sense. It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a good work environment. He was a joy to have on set.
“It'd be weird if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a huge celebrity because my family informed me, but I had barely seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — like, that's cool — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was merely entertaining and I was eager to interact with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was really, really generous. He purchased for each child in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was a major status symbol. It was the must-have gadget, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It finally gave out. I also have a authentic coach's whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.
Do you remember your days on set as being enjoyable?
You know, it's interesting, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a huge film, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, as an adult, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, the location shoot, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was new. That was the big craze, and I was pretty good at it. I was the youngest and some of the bigger kids would hand me their devices to beat difficult stages on games because I knew how, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember anything about it? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word provocative meant, but I understood it was edgy and it got a big laugh. I knew it was kind of something I wouldn't usually utter, but I was given approval in this case because it was funny.
“It was a difficult decision for her.”
How it was conceived, according to family lore, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they worked on it while filming and, presumably it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "Let me think about it, let me sleep on it" and took a day or two. She really wrestled with it. She said she had doubts, but she felt it would likely become one of the most memorable lines from the movie and history proved her correct.