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I am someone who believes that it is never too late to transform. I think you absolutely are able to teach an old dog new tricks, as long as the experienced individual is receptive and ready for growth. As long as the individual in question is ready to confess when it was mistaken, and strive to be a more enlightened self.

Alright, I confess, I am that seasoned creature. And the trick I am trying to learn, despite the fact that I am decrepit? It is an major undertaking, something I have grappled with, repeatedly, for my all my days. I have been trying … to grow less fearful of the common huntsman. My regrets to all the other spiders that exist; I have to be pragmatic about my capacity for development as a human. It also has to be the huntsman because it is sizeable, commanding, and the one I encounter most often. Including on three separate occasions in the recent past. Within my dwelling. I'm not visible to you, but I’m shaking my head at the very thought as I type.

I doubt I’ll ever reach “fan” status, but I've dedicated effort to at least achieving a standard level of composure about them.

I have been terrified of spiders from my earliest years (unlike other children who find them delightful). During my childhood, I had a sufficient number of brothers around to ensure I never had to handle any personally, but I still panicked if one was visibly in the immediate vicinity as me. Vividly, I recall of one morning when I was eight, my family slumbering on, and trying to deal with a spider that had made its way onto the family room partition. I “dealt” with it by positioning myself at a great distance, nearly crossing the threshold (in case it chased me), and discharging a significant portion of pesticide toward it. It didn’t reach the spider, but it managed to annoy and irritate everyone in my house.

With the passage of time, my romantic partner at the time or cohabiting with was, by default, the least afraid of spiders between us, and therefore responsible for handling the situation, while I made frightened noises and ran away. When finding myself alone, my strategy was simply to leave the room, douse the illumination and try to erase the memory of its being before I had to re-enter.

Recently, I was a guest at a friend’s house where there was a particularly sizable huntsman who made its home in the sill, mostly just stationary. As a means to be less scared of it, I envisioned the spider as a female entity, a gal, part of the group, just lounging in the sun and overhearing us yap. Admittedly, it appears quite foolish, but it had an impact (a little bit). Or, making a conscious choice to become less scared proved successful.

Be that as it may, I've endeavored to maintain this practice. I think about all the logical reasons not to be scared. I am aware huntsman spiders pose no threat to me. I know they eat things like buzzing nuisances (the bane of my existence). I am cognizant they are one of the planet's marvelous, benign creatures.

Unfortunately, however, they do continue to walk like that. They travel in the utterly horrifying and borderline immoral way imaginable. The appearance of their multiple limbs carrying them at that terrible speed causes my ancient psyche to go into high alert. They are said to only have a standard octet of limbs, but I am convinced that multiplies when they get going.

But it cannot be blamed on them that they have unnerving limbs, and they have the same privilege to be where I am – perhaps even more so. I’ve found that implementing the strategy of making an effort to avoid immediately exit my own skin and flee when I see one, trying to remain still and breathing, and deliberately thinking about their positive qualities, has proven somewhat effective.

Just because they are fuzzy entities that scuttle about with startling speed in a way that causes me nocturnal distress, does not justify they merit my intense dislike, or my girly screams. It is possible to acknowledge when my reactions have been misguided and fueled by unfounded fear. It is uncertain I’ll ever make it to the “trapping one under a cup and taking it outside” level, but one can't be sure. A bit of time remains within this seasoned learner yet.